I am new here and haven't read any of your posts except this one. I just wanted to say - wow, what a powerful post (this last one).
I hope and pray for you that you can find that sexual being within yourself and offer her 100% to your husband.
I - unfortunately - am divorced. My husband and I had many problems, sex being one of the biggest ones. I now know that, like you, I never really gave him 100% intimacy. But I also now realize (years too late) that I was literally too immature to experience 100% intimacy.
NOW...I am experiencing it, with a new partner. But I really wish it was something I could have given my ex-h. There were other problems too, but I really wish that was one problem I could have fixed on my end. Because now that I am experiencing giving 100% of myself to my new man, I realize how many years I missed out on such a loving and wonderful experience of mutual love and pleasure.
