She is very bitter, angry and controlling. I have to resist mightily the temptation to defend my actions and argue back w/ her. I can't really say a word to her right now as she won't listen and simply doesn't care.
I too think it is a bit preposterous that she expects me to want to cuddle and hug her whenever I see her. I miss her dearly, but I wouldn't let her back into my house right now and we definitely wouldn't move in together. NO WAY! I will not go through this again, so if the discussion of reconnecting there will be a lot of hoops for her to go through for sure. However, that is but a mere distant dream at this point.
As for grounds for divorce, in Arizona we are a no-fault divorce state so you don't need a reason. W cited "irreconcilable differences" as she claims to be mentally and physically afraid of me and that I squandered "all of our money." The adultery, unfortunately, has little to no effect. The state just seems to say "it is normal these days, so we won't worry too much about it." I think it sucks.
I did speak w/ the parenting evaluator today and told him I'm concerned as to why W is allowing D to call OM by another name. I told him I can't control her affair and don't want to, but I am concerned that W may be using D to help conceal her involvement w/ OM and to me that is not acceptable. I don't know what the parenting evaluator's opinion is of what I told him and I really can't look to be too concerned over what he thinks.
I've been up-front and honest w/ him this entire time, I don't badger him to death w/ things I'm concerned that my W is doing w/ D and I didn't tell him of this as a way to "get at my W." I did this simply and purely out of concern for the psychological welfare of my D. I'm hoping the evaluator will see it in this same light.
Thanks again for your note, Ali. I'll talk w/ you later.
