I've heard some people talk favorably about marriagebuilders.com and I know that there are some great folks over on EDITED--ADVERTISING IS NOT ALLOWED
LOL! Well, Hairdog, I guess I won't be finding the edited site - too bad. I made it here too late to see your suggestion. I expect the sales pitches - I mean this is a business afterall, and a worthwhile one. And I don't even feel like they're sales pitches. I feel like my issue is out of reach for everyone here. I feel like our issue is beyond laymen, if you will. Although the one suggestion I saw on Alimand's thread about renting a posh hotel room and sitting around naked intrigued me. I even asked H if he'd do it - his response? "I don't really like being naked." Ok, then. That's not going to work. But I'm getting the impression that there aren't really solutions for my sitch out there. I'm left to think that coaching is my last opportunity to turn things around. I need a set of fresh ideas.
But the money sitch is a real money sitch. I spend 150 bucks an hour in C, and though I don't go as often, all of that came out of my pocket - non of it was covered by insurance. So that sucked. Then Retrouvaille was another 400 bucks - not bad considering - but still, more money out of pocket. And neither of those worked. So is coaching the answer? Are the sessions with a coach really going to do what communication with my H (Retrouvaille) or Cognitive Behavior Therapy couldn't? I don't think so, but I don't know for sure. I'm just skeptical and I feel like it's gimmicky. But I felt that Retrouvaille was gimmicky, in a way, as was counseling. I mean all of these organziations make money off of issues, not successes. So, I don't know. I guess I thought I'd throw my sitch out on the boards first to see what kind of ideas would be generated.
Hi Saffie - I knew that my wedding night wasn't going to be bells and whistles. In conversations with my friends afterwards so many of them admitted to having horrible honeymoons. Even my mother said, "honeymoons are wasted on newlyweds" and she doesn't even know my honeymoon story. But my H did think his honeymoon was going to be fantastic. He thought it was going to be blissful and everything would come easily. And it didn't. and it took him a long time to get passed that...I think he's still dealing with it. And that's difficult.
So, let me ask all of you that have passed by my thread - What would you do in this sitch to turn it around? I'm open to any and all suggestions - I actually welcome them. Let's brainstorm some solutions - attempts at solutions - crazy-balls-to-the-wall solutions (pardon the pun!)
***I just wanted to edit this to say: that Retrouvaille and C did help me tremendously deal with the pain in my M and it helped my H and I develop a bond - they just didn't go deep enough to really fix the intimacy. I don't want to give the impression that they didn't help at all, I just feel like we're stuck getting to the next level.***
