I think maybe you misunderstood me, so we might be saying something pretty similar, dunno.
There's a difference between a commitment to staying M and a commitment to trying to find an M that is successful in terms of what both people want (an effort that may or may not work out, and an effort that one can make sincerely even if ambivalent).
People who want the commitment to staying M before they'll try to piece aren't going to get very far. (Unfortunately, lots of LBSs look for this sort of thing as soon as the WAS begins to question whether they should leave after all.) Kind of like refusing to go on a first date unless one gets a promise of going steady later on. I sure wouldn't go on the first date if someone wanted me to accept a promise ring first. I sure wouldn't try to work on an M I was ready to leave if someone wanted me to swear to stay forever first. To be trite, if you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, DON'T try to lock it up again.
Freedom is essential to love — to its existence, recognition, and growth.
