Also, don't be so hard on yourself and your issues in the letter. While you may have things to fix, don't make it come across like your issus are the CAUSE of her bad choice to have an affair.
I love you. The day we were married was the happiest day of my life. You’ve given me two wonderful sons who are the joy of my life.
I know if we put our minds to it we could have a future marriage where we are both extremely happy, both for ourselves and our kids, but I can’t do it alone. And I can’t continue to live the way we are.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that you know I still believe we could have a wonderful marriage, but I can’t do it alone and if you’re not willing to try, we need to separate. You know what I would like to do, but I can’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do. We’re at a crossroads and I’m running out of energy fighting for our marriage.
I know I can't make the decision for you, but I know I can’t continue to live with you while you’re not committed to working on our marriage and continue to see and communicate with OM.
I want to dance with the mother of our children at their weddings. Together I want to spoil our grandkids to death. I want to grow old with you. I want to have a wonderful, happy, fulfilling life with you, but I can’t do it alone.
Puppy help him write it you are good at not being mushy. i can't help the first letter sounded like I wrote it myself.
Ok, How bout this?
WW,
This is the hardest thing I’ve ever written.
The day we were married was the happiest day of my life. You’ve given me two wonderful sons who are the joy of my life.
I know if we put our minds to it we could have a future marriage where we are both extremely happy, both for ourselves and our kids, but I can’t do it alone. I can’t continue to live the way we are, and if you’re not willing to try, we need to separate.
This is NOT what I want, but I do have my boundaries and my personal integrity. You are an adult woman, and as foolish as some of your choices have been recently, they are, nonethless, YOUR choices, and I will not nor can I be responsible for them, nor can I force you to do anything.
I CAN, and WILL, however, fairly and honestly communicate to you the conditions by which I'm willing to remain in this marriage, and I WILL protect myself and our kids.
We’re at a crossroads and I’m running out of energy fighting for our marriage, and my patience is NOT infinite. I hope you will reconsider your very selfish and destructive decision to have an affair, and commit to ending all contact with OM and come back and work on our marriage with me.
I want to dance with the mother of our children at their weddings. Together I want to spoil our grandkids to death, and grow old with you. But I can’t do it alone.
Ok Puppy, I like it, but I might not take all your suggestions. My counselor wanted me to not be too hard on her as he says WHEN this affair ends (and it will, soon according to him) that I want her to have a good feeling of me so she'll come back.
She knows her affair is selfish. She knows it's destructive for everyone involved, so me pointing it out to her seems like to me would be kind of disrespective to her. Not that she hasn't been disrespectful to me, but I just don't think I need to point it out to her.
And I had thought about putting in my conditions, but I just thought I would wait for her to show some interest first and then work through that.
If she does leave, a few weeks after she goes I'll send the letter outlining the conditions for her return. It just seems maybe a little short and sweet, end it with OM and we can work on it is best for this letter. At least IMHO.
Hope4us
Me - 49, W 49 S22 & S18 Dday 9/4/07 W claims NC 4/7/08 8/29/09 - Divorce Busted. Lots to work through, but we're going to make it.
The day we were married was the happiest day of my life. You’ve given me two wonderful sons who are the joy of my life.
I know if we put our minds to it we could have a future marriage where we are both extremely happy, both for ourselves and our kids, but I can’t do it alone. I can’t continue to live the way we are, and if you’re not willing to try, we need to separate.
This is NOT what I want, but I do have my boundaries and my personal integrity. Life is about choices, and I cannot be responsible for the choices that you make, nor can I force you to do anything.
I CAN, and WILL, however, fairly and honestly communicate to you the conditions by which I'm willing to remain in this marriage, and I WILL protect myself and our kids.
We’re at a crossroads and I’m running out of energy fighting for our marriage, and my patience is NOT infinite. I hope you will reconsider your decisions and commit to ending all contact with OM and come back and work on our marriage with me.
I want to dance with the mother of our children at their weddings. Together I want to spoil our grandkids to death, and grow old with you. But I can’t do it alone.
I do love you,
Me
I edited a little, is this a happy medium between too mushy and too harsh?
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
Ok Puppy, I like it, but I might not take all your suggestions. My counselor wanted me to not be too hard on her as he says WHEN this affair ends (and it will, soon according to him) that I want her to have a good feeling of me so she'll come back.
She knows her affair is selfish. She knows it's destructive for everyone involved, so me pointing it out to her seems like to me would be kind of disrespective to her. Not that she hasn't been disrespectful to me, but I just don't think I need to point it out to her.
And I had thought about putting in my conditions, but I just thought I would wait for her to show some interest first and then work through that.
If she does leave, a few weeks after she goes I'll send the letter outlining the conditions for her return. It just seems maybe a little short and sweet, end it with OM and we can work on it is best for this letter. At least IMHO.
Hope4us
Me - 49, W 49 S22 & S18 Dday 9/4/07 W claims NC 4/7/08 8/29/09 - Divorce Busted. Lots to work through, but we're going to make it.
