Update on a concern that I had perviously mentioned... The deal with my old friend I think is done. I came right out and told H that I don't think that there is any reason for me to try any more with her, she knows where I am and how to get a hold of me. From the interpretation of what H told me about the conversation that he has with her that was the jist of it with her too. But the sad thing, and I am sorry if I left this out the first time, is I was really going to try and get in contact with her before H interfeared with it all. Now if I try to befriend her again it's going to look like I am doing it because H told me too. Maybe H saved me some grief by doing this though, LOL.
You see as for the adventurous side, I too have picked up a few tricks...if you know what I mean. And would REALLY like to do some of it but from what I was like before it would be a real change of pace. Because OM was into some kinky things, he was able to guide my imagination some, H just does not have the side to him. Knowing that if I try something new with H he will obviously jump to the assumtion that OM did that. I know that time is the only thing that will work for H to get through this, but it is hard for me.
I know when I first had thought he was having and A I was in C to work through it. Now we are in C together and I think that is hindering the process that H needs to go through to get over some of the things he has going on. I was able to talk to some one completely nutral, not a well meaning friend or family member, they just want to help you stop hurting. Don't get me wrong I had those too. But the C helped me feel better about me and help me realize that I was not the one who chose to have an A. But she also helped me though the what I did to contribute to his A. I think that H needs to go the C alone too, in addition to the sessions that we have together. I have not brought that up to H yet.
Not sure if I mentioned this before, but the 101 questions that I am getting about the A. My C told me to put a time limit on the how long I will answer the questions. H is driving me nuts with them, asking the same question over and over, and if I don't answer it the exact same way he will ask me why the answer is different. I know some of you don't want to know anything about the OP or what happened during the A, that is fine, but my H wants to know EVERYTHING, down to how many times we has sex. I brought the idea of the time limit up to H and he was not happy with the fact that the questioning would have to come to an end. It has been a month now and granted the number of questions a day are down but I still will get them. There is something that is triggering the questions, H told me sometimes it is a song on the radio or something that I do differently, in everyday life. H is asking me if OM has contacted me, but now it has expanded to any of his friends. Well I bowled last night and ran into one of them out there, and a simple hello was exchanged between his friend and I.
H and I are working hard to get through the this stage. We both could have called it quits but WE have desided to stick things out. I think that is an important thing that I need to keep reminding myself when I get frustrated with him and he with me.
