I understand what you are saying, Patti, but he and I had many, many talks before he moved back home, and based on his schedule, there really is not anything that says he is seeing her. I know he is not based on the time he comes home from work which is way before she gets off work.
We had a very long and serious discussion about this and because adultery is serious, he could not go thru that again because from a spiritual perspective, God is really working on his mind type thing.
I do trust him but I realize and understand that some contact is normal however, he has not seen her since he moved out of there.
The main thing is that we have talked way before he came home.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
SF - from what I've read it can take up to two years to get over the OP. Give him time (23 more months). With the faith that you have you know as well as all of us that when you don't know what to do you go to God and do NOTHING until God tells you what to do. NOT what the people here on the boards tell you to do.
Doing what people tell me to do is what got me into trouble yesterday. I felt so bad about what I said to my H that I cried out to God for forgiveness and He gave it to me. But a little while later God talked with me and I had to admit that what got me into trouble was the I did what the "world" would have done and not what "God" was telling me to do.
SF, ask yourself...what would Jesus do? (Jesus would talk to your H as a friend and put the emotions out of it. Jesus would just lovingly show your H how it was wrong...like the woman at the well.)
Lately I've been trying to figure out what I could give up like we all expect our spouses to give up the OP. The best thing I've thought of...the internet. How hard would it be for you to give up your friends here? Cold turkey!? NO CONTACT!? Does that begin to put it in perspective for you how hard it is to give up the OP? It did for me.
Steelers, I am so glad that you and your H were able to talk constructively about the contact with OW. Good job. It's so reassuring that he doesn't want to go through leaving again...
do what is in your heart and not what everybody else says you should do. but first of course, pray about it. you already know this!
my h and i would not be at this point had it not been for God moving in our lives.
i am okay with the way things are right now.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Yep, I know to go to God first but sometimes I forget...and that gets me into trouble. I'm learning though. I couldn't have done this on my own strength.
I am so happy for you and your H. And, thank you so much for coming back to the boards to let us know how you are doing.
Things are going fine. He has been leaving his cell phone on the shelf in our room ever since our conversation on Monday night.
I am not worried. I know he has issues and I am leaving him to deal with those issues.
I usually go to bed earlier than he does and let him know when I do go to bed but I also get up at 5:30. Not fun.
All is okay in the romance department but he is still stressed about everyday life.
So far it is going better than I expected.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I couldn't have done this on my own strength.