No one to turn to- 2

[addie]

H has cold feet about moving back.

Monday I called H about a parcel that arrived here for him. Then he started to say that he's thinking about what I said that if he comes back and leaves again for a job or otherwise it will be very confusing for S and also that he doesn't want to give me false hope.
Yesterday he called in the a.m. I didn't answer. He left a message saying he'd like to come over and make pizza. I was going to call back in the p.m. but he called again and this time I picked up. So he came over in the early evening and stayed for 4 hours. He made pizza for us and we finished our taxes. I was upbeat - didn't want him to think I was upset with what he said.

After S went to bed he said:
-I don't want to hurt you or S
-I still care about you
-I want you to be happy
-I don't want to give you false hope
-I miss a lot of things about our family

I told him I appreciated his honesty. He said he had to go and gave me a long hug. He was about to leave but then came back and gave me another long hug and I said have a good night.

So now I'm back to square one with DB, keeping busy and detaching some more. I think when S and I were away last week and almost no contact, he realized he really missed us and wanted to come back but now...