Realizations emerge like spring flowers, squiggling in their birth and opening to the sun.
Trust preceded love. With trust I learned I could depend on my husband. The scale tips when I slipped from trusting, depending on my husband to being dependent on him for his approval.
Imagine a caterpiller soothingly wrapped in a cocoon, protected. But something changes. The being within the cocoon doesn't want to leave it. The cocoon feels the need to protect. A push/pull ensues. Growth doesn't happen, stagnation occurs all out of doing something that was once loving.
Eventually the cocoon wears out, tattered and torn. The butterfly finds the reality of light, color too much for the wings that have never stretched, the breeze never felt.
Anyway.. it sounds a little trite, so I'm stopping. A positive relationship that did things for all the right reasons goes overboard. Eventually something pops and reality changes for everyone concerned.
Decimation of the cocoon, flight of the butterfly. Growth and change. Acceptance and awareness. Giving.
I don't hate my husband for what he did. I just have to love myself for who I am.
