Affair is over and WW is responding

[Hope4us]

Thanks for asking DMB. Last night WW was pulling out of the driveway when I got home from work. She was on her way to the store. When she got home she went straight upstairs to the bedroom and stayed there the whole night. Left the bedroom when I went up to bed without saying a word to me. I'm sure the email from OMW has her rattled a little.

I talked to my counselor this morning. He suggests I write WW a note telling her that I know we're both not happy, that I know we could have a great marriage where both of us are extremely happy in the future, but I can't do it myself. So if she wants to work on it, great, end it with OM and lets get to work, if not we need to separate.

He wants me to wait to tell the kids until after we get the details of the separation worked out, but I kind of think I should tell them once she says she wants to separate. Don't know what I'll do there yet. He thinks that it's entirely possible that working out the details of the separation may wake her up, but if not, then telling the kids what's going on is kind of like a last ditch effort to get her to come to her senses before an actual separation.

I asked him what my chances were of recovering our marriage and he replied that would probably depend on how I handled myself through this separation. If I do it with love and kindness, when it falls apart with OM (and he guaranteed me it would) that if remembered how I handled the separation and offered her a path home that she would probably come.

So I guess I don't get to tell her what I think. I need to write this letter in a way that shows her I know we can be great in the future while at the same time letting her know that I respect her if she feels she needs to go. Man, that's going to be hard.

I'll probably post my note either this afternoon or tomorrow morning and see if anyone has any comments.

Thanks for looking in on me.