My ex responded in exactly the same way your H did.
It shows control.... they like that.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
hate to burst your bubble, but apparently you have forgotten your reply. You told me that that was too long of a time for me to keep her. Because of that, I agreed to Wed after school through Friday morning. That is all I will agree to now. If you would like to change this, call your attorney and set up a court hearing to lay down a temporary visitation schedule and let the courts put it in place. As of now, we have no formal visitation or payment schedule. Maybe this is something we need. Otherwise, I will pick her up every other Wednesday and keep her through Friday morning like we have been doing since January. On the off weeks I will pick her up on Tuesday and Thursday nights like normal.
He is dilussional.That was not our conv. I sent him two emails stating in his words it was Tues-Thurs.
So I texted him and said to him I was sorry but the schedule is the way it is and if he needed further assistance to call Fred(his atty).
H Said if that is the way I want to play, he wont pick her up then...
Okay, RCR's reference to time and how it moves really strikes a chord...MLM told me that he was like a "broken watch....timeless"..(yeah, he's really a drama queen in the MLC bargain as well....oh brother! )
Anyhow, there may be some truth to what they are processing underneath.
As for his nastiness...well, I think I wanna run by your town in my SUV with Samson and run over your H as well....
I think he wins the prize for Mr. Nasty of the day! Sorry sweets!
Geesh, does he love to spew! I am not sure is if he is processing or in denial...but I think he is processing and pissed off b/c on some level has HAS to know what an ass he is.
Hope he gets over it soon...just keep your distance, try not to interact with him too much...
You are doing great...just don't get sucked into his drama...
Hugs, Vali
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
Hey Vali..It just gets so old. You try to do the right hing , but it doesnt work.
Here is the final email from H:
Liz,
When I first started my new schedule, I told you that my days off were going to be Tue, Wed, Thurs. I asked for D7 from Tue after school until Fri when I would drop her off. Your response was that was too long of a time for you to be away from her. So we compromised and I said that I would pick her up from school on Wed and keep her until Fri morning. Now you are saying that I am changing things all around. You know that what I am saying is true. This is the schedule that we both agreed to. The way you are approaching the subject is extremely confrontational. Now I dont know if, when I pick her up, you will be there for me to drop her off. I have other commitments that I have to meet and if you aren't there, they will be messed up. If you would like to change the schedule, you need to ask me, just like I asked you. I was, am have always been, willing to compromise. I still am. I just am looking for the same respect that I give you. You use language like, "This is not negotiable." Well, the bottom line is that it is. Just like I can't tell you what to do, you can't tell me either. I don't boss you around. I have made every effort to accomodate you in the past. I know you're rolling your eyes right now, but you know that I have.
The bottom line is that you are accusing me of changing something that I didn't change. I want to see my daughter, you know that. We have a really good time together. However, I am not willing to get pushed around by you anymore. I think that we need to sit down with our attorneys and draw up a temporary visitation schedule until this thing is over. I will be contacting my attorney tomorrow to help facilitate that. I hope you don't take that confrontationaly, I just think it protects us both and lays down some firm guidlines.
Am I crazy??? I just dont understand....It seems to all be a dellusion for me...
It is like the more I want to let go, the harder things become.
Exactly!!
Do you think they feel this?
Personally, I'm tired of feeling guilty all the damn time. I'm tired of being blamed. I'm just mentally exhausted from all of it.
b]They forget everything, but we remember.[/b]
Your H is even angrier now than before the court date that was cancelled. I'm sure this is getting to him, so try and stay away from his anger as much as possible.
Liss was sooo right. He will take it all out on you if you let him. I am going to give him the benefit of the doubt that he's not intentionally hurting your d, but for him to say "Fine, I just wont see her" is childish! It's all about him.
I know how hard it is to stay away....but it's better.
Keep your chin up Kiki.
Hugs,
Jeanette
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
cornered rat is right, I've almost become inmune to 4nowH's rantings, the way he tries to bully me into doing stuff on his timeline and place, hell no more of that. For so long I"ve tried to do things his way to make him happy, we are not a couple anymore so there is no reason to do ANYthing to appease him, he doesn't like it, tough, he can call me bitter, holding on to him, whatever, onto another dog with that bone as we say in my country.
They know us enough to know what buttons to push, don't give him that satisfaction. HOpefully this stupid legal stuff will be all set up for you hon))))))))))
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
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