I can only add to what others have said here. You may or may not get the apology that you're looking for, but you almost CERTAINLY won't get it now, and even if you get it (as I did from my wife, as you know), it isn't really sincere at this very early stage. At this point, as awful as it sounds, your wife actually RESENTS YOU -- resents you for "ruining her affair."
I know, sick, ain't it??
Your recovery will come in fits and starts. Hard withdrawal usually doesn't kick in until the 2nd of 3rd day, so prepare yourself for it -- today may be VERY good, as the sheer relief of having this off of both of your shoulders sets in, especially for her.
But if she has never even gone more than a day or two without contacting OM in almost two years, then HARD WITHDRAWAL is going to set in, and it's going to last a few weeks. Prepare for it. Know your boundaries (ex: it's okay to hurt, but not okay to vocalize that she misses him in front of you). Hug her and say short things like "I'm sorry to see you in this pain," but maybe only after she's cried alone on her bed for a good hour.
You need to just focus on THIS stage right now, and let the past -- and the future -- sit for itself at the moment.
