Sorry to see you here. Firstly time and patience will be your friends. I can relate to where you are right now , its nearly 18 months since W wanted me to leave . I did not go and now I live in my house with the two older boys and D12 , D has stay overs at her mums but her home is with me. But lets not get ahead of where you are at now.
Firstly believe it or not getting your W to read anything is likely to be counterproductive , so save the energy.
Do not share DR book with your W either. There is a pretty good chance she is involved with OM from what you have said. While that is going on you are in for quite a bit of rejection and will have stuff said to you by your W that will be plain cruel. She is likley also to dismiss any logical information as it will not fit with her current perception.
What is happening is she will be feeling guilt and will try and amplify any faults you have to try and justify what she is doing in her mind. So try to let stuff she says roll off , like water off a ducks back.
Until you get DR and have a good read your best action is to do nothing. She is not kicking you out so there is no hurry.
The next few points are very hard to do but if you can you will be ahead of the game.
1. Do not snoop. Yes I know its very hard but it will save you a lot of heart ache and worry.
2. Do not worry about trying to change your W right now.
3. Do not start any relationship talk at all.
4. Find stuff to do that you enjoy and do it , I know how hard this is when your world is falling apart but try.
5. Enjoy your Kids , give them your attention, time and love .
Thats all , then read DR very carefully when you get it. The 14 days wait is nothing to worry about.
If you follow the advice in the book I can almost guarantee that in 12 months time you will be a happier person. No one can guarantee what the outcome will be as far as your M goes but this process will ensure the best possible outcome.
