I think it might be time........

[Michael Mc C]

MO2C - I sincerely hope that you can and will take the time you need, whether in the same house as HFF or separated, to discover what you feel is missing.

I look at my wife and my sitch and although we are "piecing", I wonder "what is it that she needs?" She has opened up to me more in the past 2 months than she has in the past 20 years. That is NOT an exaggeration.

I hope that you can find within yourself the need/desire that you WANT HFF to fulfill and I hope you are able to give him this information without reservation.

My wife and I have discussed the current developments in your lives and we both are wishing for the best for all of you - regardless of what that turns out to be. The two of you are fun, energetic and outgoing. Hell, my BIL and his GF still talk about you!

MO2C - I hope that you will soon be able to open up to HFF in a way that you have so far been unable to do. This is vital. It may be awkward and it may be embarrassing but compare THIS to this to what you MAY be walking away from.

I kid you not (NJ phrase?), my wife and I had a conversation today that I thought would never happen. She was very happy to be able to tell me exactly "what" was missing in our marriage and believe it or not, as much as a hit to my pride as it was, I was very happy to hear it. Do not underestimate the power of honesty and do not think that HFF should know what you need because you've been together for x number of years.

I am not being preachy here, I am being honest. I count you and HFF as friends and I will, as I have done in the past, tell you exactly what I feel.

"If HFF does not dance the way you would like him to dance, make sure you tell him..."

The above phrase applies to so many aspects: Child rearing, laundry, financial stability, intimacy and how he mows the lawn (just to name a few). We will never know if you do not tell us.

For all those who may be interested: I have told my wife, since September, that I can only work with the information that I have been given. If I ask if things are fine, a "yes" means that things are fine.