K, Week is up on thursday. Who is Joye Tribbiani? Thank you for encouraging me to open up. It means alot, not just on the BB but also in my real life. I haven't heard the voice since last week when it said "DONT GIVE UP". I think I am actually AFRAID to hear the voice sometimes. Even though obviously it seems to only tell me the truth, and why should I be afraid of the truth ?? Thank you so much for sharing your feeling... I can't explain to you how much it means to me. I really wanted to post on your thread today but it locked. K, please do not give up five minutes before your miracle. If you have to take a break from H situation can you just do that, take a break? Please do not throw him away in the midst of what is going on with your Dad. I have so much more to say I wish I could say it in person and not through a silly computer. I wish I could give you a huge hug and help you out. Why is Greece so far away???
I am so out of it, I never watched Friends... !! I may be the last person on the face of this sweet earth who does not know who Joey Tribbani is.
QUESTION:
OK guys, if I were to call B in the next few days, without using an excuse,
1) what do I say? "Hello, I'm just calling to say hi and see how you're doing?"
2) the normal way I show someone I care is by asking questions about them and their life. I feel weird doing this with my B b/c I don't want him to think I am prying or trying to drag things out. Should I brainstorm a list of neutral friendly questions about neutral friendly topics to use to demonstrate that I care? like, how is your family doing, how are your parents, how are your brothers, what is the weather like in NYC right now, what other concerts have you been playing lately, do you fantasize about me when you fall asleep (JUST KIDDING) !!! This feels so weird, b/c as soon as I met him we started dating and then we were together, so it is very strange to be playing the "casual friend" role right now.
Hey T...dont call about viola sdvice (at least dont say, hey I was calling to ask you about this..). If he brings it up then ask away.
Call and just say you were returning his call to cath up, see hows hes doing - yes, sounds fine.
Dont worry too much about the questions, I think the conversation will naturally flow..like last time, but then HE ended up making funny noises and getting a bit nervous, you did brilliantly! But then, you're the one who has been in C, DBing like a Olympic athlete and reading lots of books. You've been doing the work, he probably hasnt, so this give you the "upper hand", dont forget this!!!! You are streets ahead in a sense.
BUT... he is the one that left, so naturally you are nervous. I think, according to DBing and remembering my early phone conversations post bomb, questions are fine (friendly, not probing) and so neutral subjects are fine also - work, friends, hows your Mum etc. I'd concentrate on music/work to begin with, see where the conversation goes (this phonecall or next!) Rome wasnt built in a day...slowly slowly, catchy monkey. Etc.
I cant believe you never heard of Joey Tribiani. There are as yet undiscovered tribes in the Amamzon forest, who know who Joey is and can do the "How you doin'?" with aplomb. :-)
THANKYOU FOR ALL YOUR HELP ON MY THREAD !!! Shouting so you know how much I mean it.
Ali xxx _______________ Me: 37 BF: 34 T: 9 years IDLYA: 2 Nov 07 Own flat: 26 Jan 08 Depression confirmed: 4 Mar current thread
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Just call! Come on!! In the end it doesn't mater how you start the convo. Your goal is to leave him with a "warm fuzzy" feeling (everybody says that-No clue what it means-but it sounds good)...
Sound excited to call him, happy... You've gone totaly dark on him for so long, now you have to plant the seed sweetheart...
You'll be&do fine. Ssssssss, I hear something, was that your "voice" or mine? It wasn't speaking Greek so it must have been yours... K
I would definitely go ahead and call, but I understand why you might want to have a reason for the call. I always feel like I need a reason to call my H.....he is very goal oriented, so it helps if I have some kind of question to ask specifically when I do call (which admittedly is not very often).
So I would call and say hello and start out by asking how he's doing, have a conversation and then if there's a lull say "well, I was just calling to ask about XXX". That way he feels as though he's helped you out by giving you the viola-ist (?) information (remember Men from Mars wanting to help and be of service), and you feel good because you gave him a reason to help you out. And overall he feels like 'hey, I had a great conversation with super-cool T. Maybe I'll call her for a muffin recipe/chat/bit of naughtiness(!) some time soon'
And that's my �0.02! (I think that's $0.04 these days!!)
((((T)))) I noticed you're in a super-great mood on the threads these days and really dishing out some love. It's so great to read your posts and see how strong you've gotten over the last few months you know!
L.xx
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart. And you'll never walk alone.
