I also want this parenting evaluation to conclude quickly as I'm so afraid for my D's welfare. However, I'd rather wait it out if the correct decisions will be made over time.
As for why she moved out, it is b/c the OM persuaded her to leave me. It was him that looked over our finances and told her I was going to bankrupt us and not have anything around for D's college education. He also is the one who has put into her mind that I'm someone she should be very afraid of physically.
I'm hoping that this affair will go the way of most affairs and end w/in the next six months or so b/c then W would be alone and would have been dumped by the man who convinced her to throw everything she had away and start over. The only sad thing is I'm really afraid W would turn to another man before she'd ever look inward and get some help for herself or look to me to say she made a mistake in leaving. That is my real fear w/ this all. I know I have to let go, but it is still scary b/c I'm pretty sure she'll never come back.
As for ending this divorce quickly, I'm not opposed to that at all. The first thing to do is get custody settled, then look to close this chapter and move on. If it is meant for us to reconnect we will, but right now there isn't much hope at all. It is very bleak. I'm not giving up hope, because the books tell you to never give up hope no matter how dark it becomes. However, I am resigning myself to the fact I've got to move forward for me and D regardless of what happens w/ my marriage.
Maybe speeding things up will finally rock her boat a bit. I don't know. I do know she calmed down when I stood up to her today and she came back only a little negative and mostly ready to play nice.
I don't think there is a smoking financial gun W will find, so this has a good chance of not working in her favor at all.
