Ladies and Gentleman, Thanks for your comments! CL, I'm glad that my posts give you food for thought. I've done so much learning and growing over the past two years. But I have so much more learining and growing.
Things with H have been feeling healthy lately. We've been communicating great. We've been resolving issues adn moving on. But, I still have my guard up. I still want to know that I will be okay if it happens again. I want to know that I can rely on me. So, it's hard for me to put my faith in my M for fear of being in a vulnerable emotional position. But, part of the rebuilding process requires putting faith in my M -- in H. This is waht makes piecing so hard.
Anyway, I remain grounded in knowing that i am working on me every day. I can only control me and my own thoughts and actions. I am finding my faith. I am looking to my faith.
So, at the end of the day, for me it's about doing whatever I can to keep my M healthy, while at the same time maintaining my own sense of self and confidence and strentgh.
H is away tonight. I like the space. It's good for us.
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
