Personally, I do not think there is a right or wrong answer as far as when to begin dating again. I believe it's a personal choice, and only you know when it's the right time for you.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
I am going to run one in June. This is the race H and OW ran together, H's first race. The one that I blindly brought the kids downtown to cheer him on because I had NO idea they were running it together. When he found out we were here, he got our approximate location, they separated when they saw me and the kids, and rejoined after they passed us.
This is one of the biggest betrayals of the entire A, by the way.
I will be running this race by myself this year. H has no clue I am planning on it, and I have no intention of telling him.
A good friend and I were talking today and they really made a statement that had a lot of incite.
They told me that they don't understand how WAS's feel that it's ok to blend their families before they have even taken any vows of committment to each other. I had never thought of it this way.
Also, I see you are asking the dating question again. This is a decision only you can make. The way you ask it, it seems that you are asking permission. If and when you are comfortable, then you do what is right for you. I honestly believe that we will all know when the time is right.
Me: 44 S: 17 and 7 Final-6-13-08 I once went to a psychic who told me I would soon feel cheated......
Also, I see you are asking the dating question again. This is a decision only you can make. The way you ask it, it seems that you are asking permission. If and when you are comfortable, then you do what is right for you. I honestly believe that we will all know when the time is right.
I agree! I do know that I was flirting the other night and just that caused me to feel guilty. I don't understand how my H can have an affair & leave his family and not be crushed by guilt b/c it would me. But I guess when you can flirt & think about dating without all that guilt then that would be a sign you are ready! Karen
They told me that they don't understand how WAS's feel that it's ok to blend their families before they have even taken any vows of committment to each other. I had never thought of it this way.
I was just thinking that same thing. Your friend must be brilliant.
As for dating.. no... I'm not asking permission. I'm just still a bit conflicted as to whether it's right or wrong or too soon or not... Two more months and I won't even be questioning it.
Karen, maybe I'll just start with some guilt-free flirting next time I'm out!
I think harmless flirting is good for the ego, ha ha. I agree that you will know when it is time for dating again. Personally, I would just do some casual dating first, to check out the "scene" as well as testing myself if I am ready. A friend got divorced a few years back. Instead of just dating for fun for a while after the D, he got a girlfriend really quickly and got her pregnant. He never married the girlfriend (said she's not his type). But now he is single dad with a kid, with shared custody. That's a situation I personally wouldn't want to happen, a rebound R.
I hope that does not sound like lecturing. It is not, just telling a story. I think if you are going to be single, may as well enjoy the single scene for a little while longer before settling down again :-)
Take care. Cheers for your race. You inspire me to get myself into shape again (been gaining weight again now that we are in piecing)
M 38, H 38, two sons Met 20 years ago Married 13 years Bomb: Oct, 2006 DB: Started in Dec, 2006 H moved out for 3 weeks in Mar, 2007 H back home and piecing?
Karen