my story adventures of a WAW!

[christarn]

Hey Ping....During the first 6 weeks, he did the typical beg, plead, borrow, whine, call, text, anything to get my attention...he did. Then he stopped, he bought a Harley, and started dating. He wanted nothing to do with me. I truly think it was the Harley that got me. My dad always said drinking and HD's don't mix, and all I could see in my thoughts and I dreamed about it too, was him getting drunk and crashing his bike. It was a true eye opener for me. I even called one of his best friends who also rides a HD and cried my eyes out, I was like what was he thinking buying a bike? He has a seizure disorder, he drinks like a fish (has always been a social drinker....but gotten worse since we seperated). Needless to say, that is what he did to really open my eyes. I guess the easiest way to say it is, he stopped giving a sh*t about me, and I honestly think he kind of stopped giving a sh*t about himself. His friends think he is a total ball of fun...which he always has been, but I do worry about him drinking as much as he does, especially when he's on the bike.

Thanks for your insight on my H. I can understand why he or any LBS would have trust issues with a WAW. I know that it will take patience on my part and time. I am ok with both. Like I have said in previous posts, I am not the same mean angry monster I was. I am finding "my old self" more and more each day. I truly believe God makes things happen in his time, so it can be best. In my case, I think my H is ever so slowly peeking out from behind the tree to see if it is safe. So far, I haven't shot at him yet!! Hopefully he will keep peeking, and maybe in time take a step out of the timber and see what's out here!! When it is supposed to happen it will! I will keep my faith in the Man above that it will!!

On a positive note! I text messaged my H last night to tell him I would be in his area to get my hair done, and asked if he would care if I stopped by his place(my old home) to see his dogs. I didn't hear back, didn't hear back. Then low and behold, this morning(must have been when he was on break at work) he messaged me and said "that's fine, but I won't be home until 5 or after." first if anyone can offer insight to that message, I would love it!!! I messaged him back and said I'm getting my hair done around eleven, sorry I will miss you, but thanks for letting me see the boys. I stayed at his place and played with the pooches for about 20 minutes and text messaged him when I was done, and told him thanks, it meant a lot letting me see him, maybe next time I will get to see him too, and that was that! Then this evening, I messaged him again to tell him, I had left the pooches a box of treats in the cab of his pick up. We messaged back and forth for a few minutes, then I ended said I needed to go! So overall, I'm extremely happy with how things went. He had gotten on this streak where if I text messaged him, he wouldn't message me back. So I feel, that not only did he text me back, he let me go out to his place, while he wasn't there, which is pretty cool. If any one could leave feed back about his original message, I would really appreciate it, because I didn't know how to take that.

hugs,
Christa