Kolle, I hope you won't think the E-books were not worth the money spent. I think the reason they were expensive is b/c they were where you could download them and have them right then and not have to wait for them to arrive in the mail.
I had begin to think I was very confused about the book and what I intially told you, but in the end.....it goes back to what I believe, but she just didn't put it in those exact words. I was thinking of another book I had read that explained what it meant for the woman's desire would be for her H and the H would rule over the W.
However, this book being from a more worldy POV was quite informative to me and my H. I did not ask him to read it, but since he was snooping about everything I was doing on the computer at that time....he did read it...lol. He confessed that he had never thought about women being like men in the sexual area as this woman described. We both were raised in strict Christain homes and believed the Bible. I wasn't just a "good girl" but I was to the point of being a prude! Nobody was ever going to touch any place that hands did not belong before I got married. I had been given the same stuff handed down through the generations about men won't respect girls that have sex before marriage, etc.
Even though at times I thought these two books might be testing some of my religious upbringing and beliefs, it is hard to argue with some of the things she brings out about what society has taught about women. I really had to agree with what she said in most places about that. It's just that I never questioned it before b/c that is how things were when I was a girl growing up. I think it gave me and my H plenty to consider. That is not to say we endorse infidelity b/c we don't, but I believe a lot of problems start with just plain boredom in the R. And, as she points out, both sexes are going through changes at different times and stages of life. Basically she is telling us what we are being told here on this board and in Michelle's books about the chemical responses our brains experience in a new R that causes us to think we are "in love" and explains the differences and how it doesn't last after it wears off. So, we go on to another R to find that same "good feeling" again. Just like with a drug we are hooked on.
She talks a lot about the stage of limbo that a woman is in when she is having an A, and that was where I was when I got the book. The last stage is when you can no longer have any true "in love" feelings for anyone like you once did and any hope of true happiness is lost. Toward the end of the book, she basically ties together what my belief system is about staying M. And, BTW, she does encourages staying in a MR. All in all I think it is a good secular book and certainly would help any man or woman to read it that is having problems with A's.
I hope they help you and that perhaps someday your W will find it on your computer and read it. But, don't ask her to read anything or bring up a point in any of the books you have read b/c you will cut your nose off to spite your face every time! She will pull back further and further everytime you try a trick like that.....and that is what it is....let's be honest here....it's a trick to try to get her to see the light of day, but it won't work. She has got to want to do it from her own volition.
Take care and I hope you will find these books to be of help.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
