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SueS #1405161 03/31/08 07:25 PM
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Hi lwb,

Just checking up on you to see how your getting on.... Hope you are enjoying your girls and the peace and quiet..

\:\)

tal


me: 37
H: 44
Married for 18 years this june
S7
S3
porn issues, and much more... since 7/06

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
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Ms lwb...

*hugs*
*hugs*
*hugs*

Gypsy #1405457 03/31/08 11:29 PM
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I realized today that during this past year, I have shown no anger to H.

1st bomb "I'm not in love with you" - shock, hurt
2nd bomb Confession of OW - shock, hurt
3rd bomb Continuation of OW - yep, shock, hurt

Then I found DB so I followed it. I wonder if that is why my anger bubbles up a lot these days when I think of H. What he is doing to me, to the girls, heck, to himself. I try so hard to let it go, but really, I am not sure how, other than letting time help me. He doesn't see my anger (other than last week when he disappointed D6).

Thank you for adding all this wonderful discussion onto my thread. Its a lot to think about, and it just makes me realize that, sadly, I am not alone in this. But I am grateful for the support on here.

LL44 #1405460 03/31/08 11:35 PM
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A friend sent me this quote today (not sure who to credit):

We cannot focus upon the weaknesses of one another and evoke strengths. You cannot focus upon the things that you think they are doing wrong, and evoke things that will make you feel better. You've got to beat the drum that makes you feel good when you beat it. And when you do, you'll be a strong signal of influence that will help them to reconnect with who they are.

I think this is very much in tune to what we're all going through.

Have a happy night.


M: 37
H: 36
Married: Aug 13, 2004
Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008
Reconciled: September 2008
Current: Ambivalence
LL44 #1405465 03/31/08 11:39 PM
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Originally Posted By: lwb
I realized today that during this past year, I have shown no anger to H.


I have this same issue. My mom mentioned me the other night that I really need to get mad. So far I have been in shock, heartboroken, dissapointed, angry at OW. Read books to make my H no more than a robot following a list of predefined things that happen when you feel unneeded, or have a lack of esteem. I have likened what happened to the "perfect storm" of events leading up to something destroying what was a very happy family. I have thought and felt every single thing except for angry, angry at the fact that no matter what happenes you always have a choice, and He CHOSE this chain of events just like your H did, and I should be angry and so should you.


Me~34
H~38
D6.5

EA/PA-DEC.07

Moved out~Apr.13,08
Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08
No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
LL44 #1405553 04/01/08 02:17 AM
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I have not posted in while but you are all in my thoughts.

LWB,

I just wanted to let you know, I am not a Cher fan but:

Believe"

No matter how hard I try
You keep pushing me aside
And I can't break through
There's no talking to you
So sad that you're leaving
Takes time to believe it
But after all is said and done
You're going to be the lonely one, Ohh Oh

[CHORUS:]
Do you believe in life after love
I can feel something inside me say
I really don't think you're strong enough,
Now
Do you believe in life after love
I can feel something inside me say
I really don't think you're strong enough,
Now

What am I supposed to do
Sit around and wait for you
And I can't do that
There's no turning back
I need time to move on
I need love to feel strong
'Cause I've had time to think it through
And maybe I'm too good for you Ohh Oh

[CHORUS]

But I know that I'll get through this
'Cause I know that I am strong
I don't need you anymore
Oh I don't need you anymore I don't need you anymore
No I don't need you anymore


When all settles down, we know it's all about our own choices.
It's not about needing anymore, it's about what we want.

Take care and don't ever loose the faith on being happy.
You will find love.


M 10 years
Me: 34 y
H : 35 y

Bomb: March/07
hurtandlost #1405565 04/01/08 02:36 AM
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Thanks hurt. Those are really good lyrics. Thank you. I know what you mean about not being a big fan of an artist, but now a song like that will leap out at you. Honestly, I had no clue how many songs were about bad relationships until I was in one. ;\)

LL44 #1405677 04/01/08 05:52 AM
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lwb!
How are you? I have to catch up your thread past several days.. I was sick and could not come to the site. but your thread goes sooo quickly. You are the popular lady on this site. But I just wanted to say Hi! Your weather getting better? It was 68 today and was nice to walk outside not seeing any snow! After the winter, I am usually okay living in Iowa..

Beauty


Me:31 H:29 D:7 S:2
M:7y Together:8y
found out his A :07/07
bomb:11/01/07
s: 11/15/07
OW-1 is out of state; other female friends around
first thread
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Hi LWB --

Been returning to your last post on my thread the last few days trying to break myself of that 'routine'...wanted to say thanks again.

Hope you are having a good week...

L


Me: 49
H: 49
M:21,T: 24
S18, S12
Bomb #1, 5/02; Bomb #2, 12/06; now sleeping elsewhere

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1377841&page=2#Post1377841
LL44 #1406415 04/01/08 11:41 PM
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Originally Posted By: lwb
1st bomb "I'm not in love with you" - shock, hurt
2nd bomb Confession of OW - shock, hurt
3rd bomb Continuation of OW - yep, shock, hurt


I hear ya' on not showing much anger. I came unglued a couple of times but other than that.. I guess shock and hurt..

How are things???

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