My C has gotten to the point where she has said that she thinks because I'm not getting what I want in my M from my H, I should think about leaving.
Dance Queen has given you wonderful advice. My concern is with your counselor. If she starts pushing you leaving, leave her.
I think you do have an unusual situation.
You do have some baby steps
And I will have to say that he is more touchy-feely with me now than he has been in a long time.
What did you do that precipitated this behavior from him?
Counseling has helped me tremendously and I am certainly not the person I was last year, let alone five years ago when H and I married. I have done a large amount of work on myself - from rebuilding my self-esteem to asserting myself in my M. All of that was damaged greatly. I am happy with who I am today and I am almost greatful for the events that have transpired to bring me to this point. Of course I would rather that I didn't have to go through all of that to get to this point, but it is what it is. And at this point, even without the sex, I'm a better person for it This is pretty beautiful...but I believe you and your H have what it takes to work all of this out.
Dotty and JoAnn are the SSM 'experts'. I have seen a lot of Dotty's advice here and on Sexstarvedwife.com (you can also go there, but it is a 'new' site and not as active as this one...both are run by Michele)
The way you present your post and the words you have to say about your H give me GREAT hope. There is a LOT of love....and great human beings here. I believe you will work this through.
peace and all good, sg
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
