Thanks W2G! You are exactly right. I was WAY too dependent on GF and she felt suffocated. I see that now and regret my behavior so much. I know I need to create my own life and be responsible for my own happiness.
I am doing so much better than a year ago. I am basically happy most of the time. I have ups and downs though. Sometimes I don't even think of her, I'm totally happy with whatever I'm doing, etc. Sometimes I get depressed. But it doesn't last long. It is getting better. It has just taken me a LONG time to get to this point. I guess I'm hard-headed.
What would you recommend besides trying to be happy & content (attitude) with being alone? I read a lot and enjoy cooking and, unfortunately, eating. I spend time with my close friends walking (for exercise) and going out to eat & to movies, etc. I work every day and go to grad school one night a week and have homework, etc. I am very active in my church. All that keeps me extremely busy.
There's just that daily (sometimes once, sometimes more) reminder that I don't have her in my life anymore and want her back. It's not just the life partner & sexual aspects I miss. She was my best friend for 2 years. I had a relationship with her like no other. I miss that.
