I hope you find me, I have found myself

[job]

A,
Here's what I see going on--the dance is in progress. The more you pull away, the more he communicates w/you, the more he comes around. The more he expresses himself in a "poor me" mode. He looks to you as a child does to his mother--he wants reassurance from you about him being there, calling and what he's doing. If he doesn't hear from you, he panics. He knows that one toss of the dice and you could say enough and actually shut him out. As long as the dance continues, he will continue to come back again and again and suck you in. There will be times when you ignore his comments and others when you'll need to respond. Choose your battles when it comes to such things. I think ignoring his comment last night was good. It gives him something to think about.

As for fixing the grill, why not ask your son about helping you w/it? It's time that your h see some action around your home and come to realize that he may be cutting his nose off to spite is face by staying away and wanting the house sold.

Your h may take a very long time to deal w/his issues and then again, he could face them and return to normal. None of us knows just what type of issues he's trying to resolve and that's the sad part of all of this--we are the ones having to face the fallout of what transpired so long ago.

You sound so much stronger and more in control of things these days. I'm very happy to see that you and your family have plenty of activities to keep you busy. Time will go by quickly and you won't have much time to think about your h and his issues unless...he continues to contact you late at night. Time to cut the ringer off and just let them all go to voice mail.

Take care and try to enjoy the rest of your week. You are getting the hang of going "dimmer". It takes time, but before you know it, you'll be doing it and not even thinking about it.