Well, D14 decided that she wanted to live with me as well as S16. The decision was left up to them. As far as D14 wanting what, she decided that she did not want the dog and that the dog was a gift from her mom. She wants the dog but wants a new pet to start out on the right foot so to speak. She didn't have the support from her mom with the pup from the beginning. She is fed up with her mom in many ways. Verbal abuse and constantly being put down about school, her attitude and her defiance with the "step dad". The ex is constantly trying to compare her step dad to this guy and there is no comparision. Her step dad was not a previous good friend. He definitely replaced her biological father because he left the marriage and basically cut ties with his kids, my ex and her siblings. So, there is no way to compare THIS guy she married to me. I am here, I am involved in my childrens lives and I am there for them. Is that a fair comparision? Nope, I didn't think so.
The kids feelings in all of this? Yes, a very high subject. With the new R, they have accepted everything with open arms to include the starting of "boundries" on certain things....because this is not mom and this new person has privacies that must be respected. I have talked with my kids and explained this to them and S16, being older, understands....D14 needs to be reminded.
Things will start to settle down and a routine set in place once I get back from Colorado and the kids come and live with me and their mom is gone. My Mom will be coming up AFTER the ex is gone and will be spending time with the kids and will help in relaxing them in a new environment. They will be starting a new school year with me also.....and it will be D14's first year of High School...S16 will be a junior. Old school for him!
Sooooooooo......D14's feelings are a priority and her dealing with what is going on, at times, feels like it is just as bad as the beginning of the the D. She deals with it in different ways. Some good, some bad. Right now she is going through, I think, an identity crisis. She has the "Goth" thing going right now....and she just pierced her own nose and has cut her hair a little weird. Having fun dealing with this one!
