Well, I am sure it is in her photo album...actually no telling what is in her photo album. I don't really care about that though. I don't know any of her friends (they all probably already know about the relationship anyway) and I know none of his friends know her. Her page is set to private so you have to be her friend to see it.
My thing was that I didn't want his family and friends to see it. Also just the pure disrespect that she knows that we are trying to work things out and she would put that up there. I guess if she had any class though she never would have pursued a married man.
I wouldn't contact her at this point. I sent her a text message in the very beginning that caused all kinds of drama and she showed it to H...wow it was bad. She would probably get off on me calling her now...so I won't give her that pleasure.
Oh, I have no doubt that she is bi. When I first started questioning their R and sent the text, H told me that she thought it was funny that I thought she would even want him because she is a lesbian.
I still have the OW set as a friend on my myspace. I know that I should delete her, but I haven't. She put up all these photos that my H took with MY camera of her and her kids (thank God he wasn't in any of them). I left a message saying "doesn't my husband take great photos?" She messaged me back saying "yes, he sure does" But I haven't contacted her (except for sending her an accidental text message last week) since March 8.
I actually think this woman is someone I could become friends with under different circumstances.
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
Well, the other big blow about the picture was that it proved that H has been lying to me for the past 8 months that it was never physical in any way.
I know I couldn't be friends with this woman under any circumstance. She really is a horrible person. I can't see what H saw in her at all except that she boosted his ego.
That's great news about the house! I hope they decide to buy it.
I also am incessantly curious about OW. But it does no good to try and get info through/from her. The couple times we IMd or e-mailed she showed everything to H and he got very defensive/protective of her. Fat lot of good that did me. Of course, emotions sometimes overrule logic, so knowing it is/was a bad idea doesn't always stop me lol.
As for the lying, I KNOW it's a huge blow. But is it any REAL surprise? Look around this BB - it's part of the standard response. It was just a defense mechanism - he felt guilty, lied, you sorta bought it, he figured it was less hurtful than the truth and that you'd never find out.
Last edited by MichelleLT; 03/31/0810:02 PM.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
So, let me tell a story about when I texted OW. H met OW while doing a play. Something he had recently gotten into (was actually pushed by me because I knew he wanted to do it) and she always helped out at the plays. She is a dj at a radio station. H was about to get out of the AF, so she said she could get him a job at the radio station. At first I was so excited for H because it seemed like something he really wanted to do. That is right around the time his attitude changed and they started talking all the time. So anyway, after a voicemail that I heard from her I sent her a text. H knew I sent it, he was in the room when I did it.
So the next day he didn't come home from work. I found out he was at the radio station. I asked him what he was doing there and he said he went by to find out about the job because they hadn't called him like they said they would. Well, he said that they didn't call because they weren't going to give him the job anymore. He said OW had shown the text (to her personal phone) to her boss. Her boss said they wouldn't hire him because they didn't want any "drama" from me. That is when OW told H that I was crazy and she wouldn't be interested in him anyway because she was a lesbian.
Well, rather than get mad at OW because she showed it to her boss (which who knows if she really even did)...he was furious at me for ruining his opportunity. Rather than get mad at himself for having an inapppropriate relationship with this woman...it was all my fault. I was crazy for even thinking anything was going on (BTW, by the date on the picture it was going on by then)....seems I am not so crazy afterall. Although, now I can't even imagine if he had gotten that job...I don't really think he would be here right now.
I guess it is no real surprise that he lied...doesn't make it hurt any less. He was so convincing. I even remember our MC having me tell her every reason that I thought he was having an affair. Then she said she had me do that just to make sure she wasn't missing anything. She had seen my H and I both individually and together. She said "I have been doing this a long time, and unless he is a REALLY good liar...which I doubt...there is nothing going on with those two. It is inappropriate, but I can tell you with almost 100% certainty that it isn't physical." When this statement was made he was already living with her and I had no clue.
I even remember him saying "At this point it would be easier for me to lie to you and tell you something was going on just to get you off my back about it." Anyway, enough about that. I guess my point is that if I contact her I will come out looking like the crazy one. I won't let her have that power over me.
ANYWAY.....so yesterday I called H when I knew he would be at work and told him I was just going to drop a check by his apt. for the rent (BTW, that is the last time I will help him financially, he should be able to do it on his on from now on). That way I didn't have to see him or talk to him because I don't really feel like doing either right now. Well, he called me to thank me. Then he talked a little bit, told me about his day and just chit chatted a little. Then he started talking about being hungry and wanting to go eat. That is when I usually say "want to go get something to eat?" and we go out. I didn't say anything this time. If he wants to hang out with me then he is going to have to be the one to ask.
I will not contact him now. I will give him his space and let him be an adult.
Whew! Sorry for the ramble, I guess I had to do a little journaling too!
So, what are you going to do with all your free time and energy now?
...you forgot about extra money!!
I am really going to increase my exercising since I have that wedding in 3 months...gotta look good. In a way I am dreading that but in a way looking forward to it. I will see a lot of people from college and high school that I haven't seen in a while. Although not looking forward to questions about H. I am still hoping he will go with me. I think he will as long as he doesn't have to work.
Yes, more GAL activities. I will have to keep myself busy to keep me from wanting to call H.
You could always just say that your H has to work regardless. I HATE questions about my H. I am actually dreading a doctor's appointment I have coming up. I know that my dr is going to ask me if I will be trying to have a child soon since I had told her at my last appointment in the fall that we were going to start trying in March (which was the plan). Now that my H doesn't find me sexually attractive, that has all changed. I just dont' want to tell my doctor anything.
Yes...more money and time will be a great thing!
Sara
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
Yes, I could say that...and probably will if he doesn't go. However, I am from a small town...and there is already gossip. I know I shouldn't care, but I do. I just want to actually have him with me.
I hate questions about my H too. I never know how to answer. Most of the time I just act like everything is fine.
