Thank you for writing! I wanted to let you know that I am in individual counseling and it has helped tremendously! You don't realize how much pressure you put on yourself or how quick you are to take responsibility for things (that maybe you shouldn't) until someone objective weighs in. My counselor has been, in short, a lifeline.
My H has been supportive of this journey, but I do wonder whether it may be too late for him. I told him Friday - when we had a really great conversation - that I do feel like I'm chiseling away at a wall of ice and it's starting to seem thin enough in some spots where I'll actually get thru it. :o)
As far as awareness, that's a biggie for me. And it's one of the most frustrating things for my H. I tend to censor my thoughts, mask things in action or another train of thought, and then get upset when he can't figure out what I'm trying say. Duh!? As a simple example, while we were talking, he said something that I didn't quite agree with but I didn't even realize it. I got up out of bed and headed for the bathroom; he stopped me, asked me what was wrong and wouldn't let me off the hook. I didn't realize at the time anything WAS bothering me, that's how little self-awareness I am working with. And I hate it, let me tell you!
I have done a better job of telling him what I want and what I feel, and he let me know in no uncertain terms that I have every right to say what I want and demand what I want and settle for nothing less. So I think in a lot of ways, he's aching for that type of outspokenness, which I tend to display in every other situation except with him.
