Please help...need MLC advice

[tpaschal]

Momof2,

Glad your girls seem to be doing okay. I think my S9 and D5 would be both distrustful and clingy at the same time if H ever comes home, but D14 is sooo ANGRY. I'm not sure how she would react.

OW sounds like a prize! Why do they all have the same characteristics?? If she is not sure if she wants your children involved in her R with your H then she will run for the hills!

My H's OW "forced" (my H did not have a backbone!!)him to file for D and always pressured him about meeting the kids...

They do seem to have a lot of similarities, at least the young ones. This one also "forced" the D filing. I'm pretty sure she even found the lawyer and made the initial appt. for him! Right now this bimbo is playing the part of the good little woman who can't wait to be a s-mom to his kids, even to the point of making snarky comments to H and to others about how they will take custody if I can't be bothered to take care of my kids. (This comment came about when I had the nerve! to ask H to take S9 to soccer practice. Guess it interfered w/ her plans for the evening. Too bad!)

But the simple fact that he's not had her around them AT ALL raises flags in my mind. It could just be to keep the relationship lower profile until a D is final (except that they are going out in public), but I hope it's also because H still has the sense to recognize that she doesn't really want to be around them, they definitely don't want to be around her, and it will be a disaster if/when bimbo and D14 come face to face.

thankfully he has the sense to keep them out of it. Part of that I think was the fact he didn't really want any part of his children either. I guess the responsibility interfered with his new life.

YES. I definitely think this is another huge part of why my H doesn't have the kids around more, or around the OW at all. It would interfere with his fantasy.

I would bite my tongue constantly and I did blow up at him a few times...I told him I hoped and prayed that his daughters never met someone like him...I know now, that really bothered him! At the time I meant it.

Yep, me too. Several months ago I asked him if that's what he wanted for D14 when she turned 21. I said I couldn't imagine any mother or father wanting this life for their 21 yr. old daughter---to be an adulterous homewrecker living with a married man who has 3 children who will never accept her. Terrible DB'ing, I know.

I never called him and he missed out on some holidays and birthdays...all of which he regrets deeply now. I am a supportive wife but he needs to work through those guilty feelings on his own. I don't rub it in his face...in a way I do feel bad.

H left when our youngest was 9 months old. He missed her first birthday and only spent about 1 hour with her on her first Christmas. I treasure those memories, he will not have them.

Do everything for you and your children and make memories you can cherish! It makes you feel good!

Sad that they miss out on so much. I would think that more than anything would wake them up, but like we both realize(d)---thinking too much about the kids spoils the fantasy. And for now it seems my H is not ready to give up the fantasy.