Well, I replied last night to W's e-mails, one of which was disucssing D's upcoming birthday party (she and W have the same birthday). W sent me some "ground rules" for not invading her personal space, looking to touch her at all and making sure I didn't try to become D's "favorite" by showering her w/ gifts. W also told me not to get her anything for her birthday and that she was going to invite some of her and D's "friends" from her work.
W had also sent off things about dividing our mutual assets and other small stuff.
I did reply and told her her "ground rules" were very obvious to me and thus didn't need to be addressed. I also asked her to let me know how she was planning on inviting prior to inviting them b/c I will not be comfortable seeing the OM and my D's birthday party. She knows this and I'm pretty sure she's still planning on brining him anyway. I may have to discuss this w/ my L as right now, I'm not strong enough to see him there w/ my W playing my old role and enjoying my D's birthday. I can only pray that W has enough decency in her to keep in mind how difficult it would be for me to have OM there. I doubt she'll care one inch about me, but I can always "act if" she's still human and hope.
In any event, she sent a reply today talking about how she felt her "ground rules" definitely needed to be re-stated b/c I had "violated me and these rules in the past." She also went further to make "it clear that these ground rule are permanent rules for the future."
I just don't see her ever coming out of this bitter, angry stage regardless of what I do.
Her e-mail yesterday also included a comment about how my side of the "divided assets list" was much larger than hers so she'd need to be financially compensated for the difference or get more of the house equity. I did reply to this and informed her that the division of assets are based on "value" not "volume" so we may need to have things appraised. So, again there may be more costs involved that she is generating for us to pay.
I also reminded her of the roughly $1100 in expenses I had to pay for her in the month of February out of my paycheck which I will need to be reimbursed for as well. I closed it by saying that maybe the best thing to do would be to come to an agreement on the household items, even if it means getting things appraised, and then saving the financial questions for after the furniture is divided.
I'm almost guaranteed to get a nasty response back from her about how I'm the cause of all our debt and I'm being unfair, but I'm not going to sit back and take the fall for everything and I'm definitely not going to just agree to pay her money w/out collecting what I'm owed as well.
This sucks. I hate it, but I have to be the warrior in this thing and hold true and firm w/ what I know is right. She expects to get out of this thing w/out any obligations or financial hits. I'm not trying to ruin her, but I'm also not going to give away money and property either.
I appreciate every thing you all can provide me w/ feedback and comments. I'm still struggling, but I'm going to continue to push forward.
