Hi, just wondered if you would mind explaining in more detail what you mean by this statement. I ask b/c it sound similar to what my H told me. Not about a decision, but he said that he didn't think I was putting very much effort into working on the M. At the time, I was doing the best I could do. As I tried to tell him, I was trying to get to the place just to be "willing to be willing" to work on the M.
It kind of sounds like you are waiting to see if she is going to put 100% into the R before you make a decision about the M. But, wouldn't that put you in the place of "score keeping"? I'm sure I didn't understand what you were saying.
Anyway, just wondered what you meant.
Sandi
Good point about the score keeping. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I need to be sure that the M works for me. I know for a fact that it won't work for me if I don't work to ensure it does - which means I need to be in it - but I don't want to blindly commit to something that doesn't work for me. I'm committed to a functional, good relationship. Our M wasn't truly either in the past, and I doubt it (or any R for that matter) can be free of dysfunction, but I'm committed to a M that is growing in that direction. If it's clear to me that my W is not interested in this sort of goal, that she's looking to stay in the M for purely financial reasons, etc, then I can't commit to that R.
Make sense?
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
