Feeling hope

[LuvMyHusband]

Hi all,
I am doing ok. It's hard. He has been honest but now I am dealing with the aftermath of my feelings of hurt, sometimes resentment, anger and jealousy. It's hard to know that while I was crying into my pillow from lonliness that he was with someone else. It's hard to know that while I was worrying about paying the bills and not even wanting to spend money on my nails (I stopped), he had money to take HER to dinner, a concert and who knows what else. I try to cry in private as I know he feels terrible but sometimes I feel distant. I know it's going to take time and he knows this too. He's trying hard. Brought me roses yesterday. I had told him that I wanted him to pursue me, that I needed to feel that he really wants me and loves me. I'm trying to be loving, compassionate and forgiving. I'm glad I have C today. I need it to help me sort my feelings. Now that my H is "back" I don't want to push him away with my feelings.