MMC, I was having trouble finding that connection between my H and I. My H and I were not aware of Michele's books and her wealth of knowledge. I believe that Mo2c has the advantage of having the knowledge of Michele's books. Had I known that I held many of the misperceptions about marriage Michele talks about in her books I would have seen that our problems and feelings were not only normal, but could be overcome.
Healing the relationship really has to start within yourself. If I were in Mo2c position I would do a lot of soul searching, read all Michele's books, and try to find my own happiness. I believe that at times the the unhappiness we feel can be a result of our own personal unhappiness, attitudes and issues and it is reflected in our relationships and that will follow us from relationship to relationship. I would also read the 5LL and try to better understand my H's love language.
Michele explains it so much better than I ever could. Love is a choice. You get out what you put in. The quote Sara posted above say's it perfectly. Start with a beginners mind
We talked about Michele's books and philosophies last night. W knows that love is a choice and all that. We have the 5LL book and did identify each others love languages, but I was just thinking. I don't think that W has really read the books.
Maybe we could read some of these together...
That just reminded me of one of our counseling sessions. Counselor suggested that we both read Michele's Divorce Busters book. Together. Outloud.
I ran out and bought the book. Read about half of it before I got home. It made a lot of sense to me, so I was eager to read to my W that night. DOH!! That went over like a ton of bricks. I later told our counselor to never, ever suggest that book to both partners and to come to this board to do a little research. It's amazing how counterproductive the wrong therapy can be.
