It's really tough to find someone to support you through this without them being judgemental. It sounds like you have one friend that does, which is great. Also, you have thousands of friends here to listen to you, and help you along the way!!
It's really hard to predict what a person would do until they are actually in this situation. Many of the people who may tell you to cut your losses and run might see a different side of the story of they were in your shoes.
Keep in mind that a lot of these people really are "well-meaning", and hate to see you go through the pain. You don't have to avoid these people, maybe just avoid talking to them about your R. Like you said, you can just thank them for their input, and tell them that you have decided to work on saving your marriage, plain and simple. That if they would really like to help, maybe they can invite you to dinner, watch the kids, mow your lawn, paint your house, etc. Nine times out of ten, that will send them running!! If not, you'll start to be able to see who your true friends are.
I say to keep working on your M, and get your support from the people who can understand your determination. Who knows, you may one day be an inspiration to those same people if they ever find themselves in the same situation!
JJ
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