It still sounds like you're going in a good direction. The war between the 2 of them is GOOD. That's what happened to me. Just be sweet, nice, all smiles, luvey duvey, etc. Keep your patience at a high level. It's a no brainer who is going to come out looking better.
The snooping is a horrible addiction. I did it, too. You want to know -- have to know if they're telling you the truth. But if they do find out, it's a big backslide. It's horribly unfair! There are many strategies to fighting this battle, and snooping isn't the best. There are those on this board who completely advocate it but I say to each his/her own. It's just not good for your PMA.
You can chose to not snoop, which will help you focus on the positive. If you run through mud puddles you're going to get dirty -- if you go around them, you stay clean. It may take you a little longer to go around, but you feel better if you know what I mean.
You know the A is ending, you heard the OM and her begging, pleading, pursuing message. I would let the snooping end on that note. It's given you proof that it is ending! I'd put all your efforts into, "DBing like crazy" to use your words!
