Jasmine, As painful as it is for you to be going through your H's affair, know that a marriage can not only survive infidelity, but over time, become stronger as you both work at mending your relationship. I know that you are not there yet. It takes time to process the choices, actions, and consequences that created this situation. Your H seems to be aware of some of his responsibilities. It is also good that he acknowledges his wrong doing, but his actions have to back up his words. Ownership of one's errors is the first step towards change, so I commend you for admitting you were involved in an emotional affair. It's also a good sign that you felt "miserable" and chose to end it (you backed up your feelings with action). Whether your H used this as justification to have an affair or not -- he is still responsible for his decisions and behavior. You ask if he needs more time to get over her and the whole experience before he can make decisions about you both. Probably, but do you know what you want in your marriage, and of him? You state that you're "trying really hard to be longsuffering." Jasmine, this is still all fresh, it's normal to feel a wide range of emotions. Don't try to supress your feelings, expressing how you feel is part of the healing process. Perhaps, because of your pain, fears, and maybe guilt, you might be cushioning the natural consequences of his actions? I like this insight of yours: "Times in life like this are full of such significance and hold such potential for changing all dreams and preconceived notions about life and relationships that it seems almost blasphemous to not take hours writing about it." You are right, times such as this are indeed significant; they are a crucible, where dross is burned, our souls are polished, and we are made stronger because of it. And, yes, you should write about it -- in your journal! It will be cathartic for you, and tomorrow, as you face different situations, you will remember how strong you were, and how you overcame.
