my story adventures of a WAW!

[BryanR]

Christa,

Thank you so much for your insights. I will be waiting this out. My W and family are the greatest gift God has given me other than my salvation.

I let her down and take responsibility for my part in our trials. I have asked for her forgiveness and she has said that she is working on that and I find that as a positive response. I am going to back off...way off.

I do have to talk with her fairly regularly to schedule kid stuff and to deal with finances. Other than that I don't get much interaction with her. She even bought my boys a cell phone so she doesn't have to talk to me, so I am getting the hint.

I have plenty to keep me busy and I try to squeeze work in between my prayers. LOL.

I have found a great deal of comfort and direction from the Steinkamps at rejoice ministries. I am learning to pray and to trust in God for the miracle of the healing of my M. This is by far the most important time of my life. I have found that I am getting my strength from above. Each time I get knocked down in my stand I get back up and dust myself off a bit quicker. I then turn my face back into the storm and continue to show my wife that I am truly committed to this family.

I have changed a great deal in the past two months and my W doesn't believe what she sees. She feels that it is an act to get her back. I have never lied to my wife and yet she doesn't believe that what I am doing is an honest effort, only the passage of time will show her that my heart is in the right place.

I really do appreciate your willingness to share what you felt during your time as a WAW. I know my W and honestly believe that she is not in control of her emotions and actions. I will not be swayed by what she does as I have faith that she will come out of this fog at some point and realize that she wants what she once had. It is what I pray for every day.

Have a great night and keep standing for your H and your M. It will be worth every moment of hurt and pain.

-Bryan (originally an Iowa boy)