Hi jasmine, boy do I feel the same as you. Even though being separated right now is better for me, I never realized its just another limbo phase, huh? Of course, we could file and end it ourselves, but I am not ready for that either.
I feel like you that even though we are so distant, I could never 'move on' right now, for I still love my H, not to mention I'm a mess and in need of repair before getting sent back out there to the real world.
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We are also able to joke about our situation (to some extent), and being friendly definately feels better than constantly being at odds.
We can do this too. The first day after H moved out, he walked in the house and could barely walk. I asked him what happened and he sheepishly said "I slept in a bed last night for the first time in almost a year". We both busted out laughing for whatever reason, but yes, its better than anger. Sometimes the jokes are too much (both of us do it) but even then, we can look at each other and say something like "Not funny yet....".
I have vowed to not bring the R up since he moved out, and I have done well for almost 5 weeks, haven't brought it up once. You should be proud too!
