The place in the Berkshires seems PERFECT. When exactly are you going?
I posted this on someone else's thread, but when I read this you're the first person who popped in my fuzzy little mind. Rec'd from a friend today (not sure who to credit):
We cannot focus upon the weaknesses of one another and evoke strengths. You cannot focus upon the things that you think they are doing wrong, and evoke things that will make you feel better. You've got to beat the drum that makes you feel good when you beat it. And when you do, you'll be a strong signal of influence that will help them to reconnect with who they are.
Good stuff, huh?
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
[quote=lwb]Someone else on here said someone should open a "Left Behind Spouse Spa". It would be manditory that you have been betrayed. Then you enter for a weekend of pampering, venting, drinking, shouting, what have you. There would be therapists wandering around as well. Sound good??? Of course DB'ers would get a major discount.
lwb; Yes, I;ll take a double booking at the LBS Spa. You have an addresss for this place or should we all pull our funds together and open one ourselfs? grid, lost
-Love of dogs, every time I loose a dog to the bridge,part of my heart goes too. Ever time a puppy/dog comes into my life,he gives me a part of his heart. If live my life long enough, in time I'll have the heart of a puppy. -unknown (w/character limit)
Does anyone know how to get hot glue off gel nails? It seems to be STUCK! [/quote] Gypsy, Here you are! I have found your new thread. Last locked and I have been trying to find you. Your posts are so wonderful to read. So your writing, tell more? novel, short stories, adult, childrens books?? have you ever sent any of your writings in for review to publish?grid, lost
-Love of dogs, every time I loose a dog to the bridge,part of my heart goes too. Ever time a puppy/dog comes into my life,he gives me a part of his heart. If live my life long enough, in time I'll have the heart of a puppy. -unknown (w/character limit)
Gypsy, forgot to mention....GOSSIP!! I grew up in a life style I call the Public Arenea. that being my parents were very public people and we lived in small town environment. So Gossip, best way to stop it, tell the truth. Don't run from it, just put the truth out there and there is nothing to gossip about. Remember: this is my favorite saying, "The Truth Shall Set You Free".! grid, lost
-Love of dogs, every time I loose a dog to the bridge,part of my heart goes too. Ever time a puppy/dog comes into my life,he gives me a part of his heart. If live my life long enough, in time I'll have the heart of a puppy. -unknown (w/character limit)
Turns out if you really really really get underneath the glue, you can eventually lift it off. I'm not used to being high maintenance.
I like the telling the truth.. simple and sweet!
My writing has always been compilations of thoughts, essays. While in a writer's group, I tried to do a short short story but then the drama in the group became far more unbelievable that fiction. I've only sent one poem in.. didn't set my sites too high, to the New Yorker! Surprisingly, a rejection.
I get stuck in "how do I do XYZ" which I recognize now is just avoidance.
On a personal note.. I'm thinking my husband probably has been with someone for quite a while. It feels wrong to think that of him but too many behaviors don't add up.
With that thought, and how I'm always hammer in.. "It's none of my business." "It's a reflection of his own take (misery) in life." something came to me.
I hear the word "detach", "detach lovingly".. so I do what I think is right and leave myself dangling like that cute plump worm by actually impaling myself on the hook. Ouch!
My new thought, or take.. is that I leave. Not out of anger, not out of rejection.. just leave. Detaching is leaving. I leave emotionally. This treatment by my husband is bullying and disrespectful, not to mention, unloving.
Take the wick out of the candle.
Without the wick, the candle can't burn. It's just a cylinder of wax.
I've been out dangling on my hook feeling no sense of control.
I do have control.. over me.
I do have a choice.. on how I wish to be treated.
I do want a positive relationship but it has to be mutual.
So since I couldn't sleep, I've formulated Plan B, what I like to call:
"Putting DB to Work for Me."
The wick of my emotional candle is a nerve ending. People who aren't nice to my wick, don't get to play with it! My husband has entered the "No play" zone. No wick for you, dear.
I can remove the wick of my emotional candle as needed. Life is not about putting myself out to be stomped and beaten. Life is to be lived with joy, strength and pride.
By removing the wick of my emotional candle I take away outside manipulation. I take care of myself. I am still loving to those who are loving. I am no longer helpless, always hurt, fearful, at risk.
I still believe in what brought my husband and I together. I still believe in marriage. I still believe in family.
I no longer believe I have to suffer to have hope.
Trying to figure out what is really going on is as helpful as plucking petals.. "He's not having an affair" "He is having an affair"... pluck pluck.. until the flower is bare. Guess what.. he's GONE, left, adios without a forwarding address!
Hello! Hasta luego, baby. Ya ain't got my wick no mo', no mo', no mo', no mo' (sing it with me!)
I was just wondering if you've heard anything more about PWP? I'm not sure if I told you or not but I've paid them.. so I'm a member now. I figure the first outing I will go on will be something I can do with D2.. I'm a bit of a chicken sh!t to just go to one of the adult things all by myself right off the hop.
Haven't heard a PEEP! Perhaps I should find a number to call, rather than wait for an email response!
And Whey... how about a 180.. just go! You are so interesting and intelligent it's a shame not to bring joy to the life of others!
Ms. Imp...
Okay okay, I get the message! I'll try and find that book and see how it goes. Thanks for the encouragement for my thoughts.
That wick imagery and singing "no mo'" certainly kept my mood up today. The machinations of the divorce process are just invasive and pervading. My lawyer recommended something today which has me on edge. This morning it felt like the right thing. This afternoon, I second guessed myself. Now I figure, it's out of my control and we'll see where it goes.
Part of me is getting a little burnt out on alll this! Spending the day doing the financials.. just about every day.. is just.. I don't know the word. Ugh!
