Worried I found DB too late #2

[cw68]

Ah, the rollercoaster of feelings. Things were fine today, it's not like anything changed, but in the last hour I've been bombarded with negative thoughts. H called to say goodnight to the kids and I answered the phone. I asked him how he was and in his usual joking self he said, "Just livin' the dream, CW68." To which I replied, "Yep, this is the dream. It's all right here in our hands, it's the bomb." And he replied, "Life could be worse." He's right. I also think it might get worse, for good.

Then as I was doing the whole bathing, making beds, cleaning up thing I realized that this is probably it. I'm probably going to be doing this by myself forever and pretty soon my H won't even be here to help as much as he does.

Put D6 to bed and she said that she's never going to let me go like Dad did. I told her she had nothing to do with that and, regardless, I'm here for the long haul. Then she told me she thought Dad and I would live apart for a long time before we got back together. I had to tell her that that probably won't happen because I don't want her to get up false hopes. She follows that with, "You're easier to talk to about this than Dad because you have more skills." Hmmm. Out of the mouths of babes.

I'm trying to remember that things have been better. Baby steps. I gotta stop thinking too far ahead of myself and just take things as they come.

Time for a movie to escape tonight.