I need to pipe in here. FIRST... I had a great day. You will not believe how many compliments I had today on how I dressed. At one point W called to tell me she ordered the phones and she was going to ask her Chiro. For a recommendation for me to go to. I told wife about all of the complements. She asked if I was wearing the burgundy shirt. I told her No I was wearing the black Hawaiian one. She said that the burgundy shirt looks really good on me. I told her I was going to wear that Friday. (I did not say that I was hoping to feel well enough to go out calling also with that shirt Friday night). So that was a big PMA for me today. Now I feel like a woman thinking about what I will wear tomorrow. It was so easy just grabbing the t shirt on top with my blue jeans....
Ok now off to cw post. This is nice I really like it but it kind of contradicts what Sara said. I mean it says that no mater what my W does I should treat her like the "right person" and everything will be ok?
I think it is better to compare my marriage to a car... If someone gives you a car at first it's great. You are happy and drive it around. But if ya get a dent in it. Well hey it was free anyway... after a few dents ya stop washing it. Then well it just sits on the driveway wasting away...
Now if there is a car that you want and nobody just gives it to you... you need to earn it. You need to work for it, and when you do get it you wash it and keep it up. If ya get a dent in it you go off and get it fixed. This car is something you worked hard for and you are not going to let it go...
When you get too comfortable with your marriage it is like that car that was given to you. I mean would anybody really risk losing something they really cared about. That they worked for? When the Husband (or wife). Gives you themselves for free... meaning that they don't ask for anything in return, they are there no mater what ya do. There sometimes comes a point that you don't worry about losing them. Because you know they will be there. You don't have to work hard to keep them. I think that is where GALing and self respect come in. The LBS needs to let the WAS know that life / love is not free. It does need to be earned. It is something that needs to be worked for.
Have I confused everyone yet? I know every sitch is different. I can only speak for my own but I am afraid that it will come to a point that I have to play the No more Mr. nice guy card. A point that I say I am not free. If you want to stay with me WE need to work hard. Until I do this my W is just along for a confusing FREE ride.
But remember this is just thoughts I have today still was GREAT...
Hope EVERYONE had a good day...
Dr LOve
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
H you are getting so deep! Everything you say is true. So it's not just how you treat the other person, but also how they treat you. It is truly a two-way street.
I don't think it means that if you treat them like the right person everything will be OK, but that it can make it OK. It's like getting chicken for dinner. You can bake it plain, as is, or you can spice it up to be flavored just like you like it if it's not flavorful enough on its own.
Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09
Yes. To me the quote says that it's not fate, your life is yours to make something out of. If you make it bad it will be bad, but if you work to make it good, it probably will turn out good. This whole idea of searching for the ideal mate is an illusion. But people searching for that illusion are blind to that fact.
Wish I could get comfortable to type more but I hurt. I think the saying is beautiful. And Yes I agree with it 100% but only as one can control ones own feelings. YES when both parties took that to heart... things would work out great. It is a great saying to live by. I am slowly getting to point that I can control my inner feeling of happiness and sadness. It's like an actor... When they need to cry for a movie they think of the saddest thing that happened to them. And the tears start flowing... If you are in a relations ship and all through your mind you keep on thinking "this sucks" guess what?? It sucks.... So I do stand corrected CW68.... remember I am on meds right now.... some things are getting surreal..... I have been lucky so far and have not had any bad thoughts. I am afraid though that soon will be the anniversary that I found the pictures... April 12th...
Keep positive thoughts... Ok I need to go check out my wardrobe to see what I am going to wear tomorrow...
Dr LOve
Last edited by husband; 04/01/0802:40 AM.
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Made it to work... that is a good thing. W has shown concern about my back problems. Said she can't wait until I get X rays to see what is going on with it. BUT (and I am not analyzing it) it does feel like she is "acting" concerned. Boy it is hard keeping promise. I CAN"T WAIT UNTIL SHE GETS A JOB. I WAS thinking about asking W it would be ok to just e-mail her and write down my feelings and thoughts.... but like I said the tensions are low right now. (At least on her part)... Ok it's still early...
Got at go Be back soon
Dr LOve
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
