We did talk about kids before the marriage and the possibility that the vas could be reversed but there were money issues and my indecision about having another child led my wife to think that I was just stalling
You didn't know it at the time, but it wasn't a "possibility" she was looking for when she mentioned "baby". It was a reality in her mind. It wasn't predicated on whether you had money or not or the medical feasibility of it. She told you that if she married you, she expected you to get that operation and have a baby with her. I'm sure she didn't come right out and say it to you in that manner, but you can bet that's exactly what was going through her mind when you discussed the "possibility" of it.
Your probably taking all the negativity she may be feeling for her decision to wait so late in life to have a baby.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
