As a man I'm aware of what you H is going through, yes he is trying to outdo OM and her is tryin in the only way he knows how to and that is to work harder (if you know what I mean). Also there is the feeling that if he puts in the performance of a life time every night he is likely to remove all traces of OM from you mentally and physically.
We men are simple creatures and resond to simple praise during LM, so if he is praised for his gentle skills then he'll respond, if you tell him you like it better when he slows down then he'll respond. As for adding new stuff in I'd hold off on that until H is confident that the LM is all about the two of you and not OM.
