A, Not trying to sound negative, but there is always 50/50 chance he may not wake up or want to return after all of the damage he's done. You need to prepare yourself for that chance.
You've been nothing but a kind and loving woman and pulling back some shouldn't send him away. It's calling going dimmer and if you really want him to have a taste of what life is going to be without you in it, you'll need to do this. You can't continue dealing w/him and his emotional state for another year or so w/o going a bit nuts yourself. But, it's your choice.
I sense that he knows you are distancing yourself (again) and is trying to rope you back into his drama. Poor man--how sad it is? Heck, what about you and the children. He needs to stop his pity party and get that mirror out and look at himself. As long as he can continue crying to you about his selfish self and how sad he is, you will never be able to move on and keep the focus on you and your children. He really does need to see his therapist more than once a week. He's got some serious issues.
Please take care of yourself and your children. He's no good to any of you in the condition that he is right now. He needs to hit bottom and very soon.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
