MLM's father was in the military and would go away from the family for months, even years at a time...so he only had his mother...who clung to her children for dear life...cannot blame her really, she only had them and was acting as I would, I think.
Anyhow, by the time my H was 7 or 8 he knew his father was an alcoholic and his father was never really affectionate with them.
SO, he comes from the family with the mother who over compensated and the father who drank too much. they eventually D'd when H was in grad school...but so much damage had been done...my H had not spoken to his father for 8 years when I first met him and only started talking to him when we got engaged b/c he didn't want to 'bring that into a marriage'.
Now, his conversation is sprinkled with "so and so would let me stay at their house b/c they knew how things were at my house"...he would never have mentioned those things before...
my H was the oldest and a boy so he feels responsible for everyone. Now, he must take care of his mother, which I am sure he will do for the rest of his life.
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
