You are a SAHM, correct? Regardless, that money is half yours.
I think you should get records (if you haven't already) of every transaction H has made, particularly withdrawals of any kind, any CC charges, etc from the time his A started til now.
Again, DO NOT agree to any changes until you've talked to a lawyer. Please don't drag THIS out. Do it immediately.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell