Going on Four Weeks MLCer Home

[missmyfriend]

This is a tough one SF. It may be something that I face eventually. I know my W is a tm-aholic.

I will say that you have some excellent things going for you in this situation. He is feeling convicted when he reads the bible. Do not beat him over the head with it. It is a tool of love, not a weapon. It can free him of his addiction to the OW.

I have read numerous posts that this is normal in piecing. The OW can be so tempting. Especially without something to take its place. I have read that it can take a long time to be free of the OP but in time it can happen. I am not an expert in piecing. I have never done it before. But I will say that your love and forgiveness helped to bring him home. Some men may be able to be told "NO" to any contact and be able to do it but some may not be as strong. He may need a replacement that is positive.

If he admits he is challenged with staying away from the OW, do you think he would be open to making a male friend that is grounded in the bible? Someone he would respect and trust? I have someone that I can tell the worst possible thing to and he will not make me feel like scum but he does not accept doing wrong as an excuse either.

I do not believe your sitch is bad at all. It could become bad depending upon how safe he feels; how secure it is to be home.

SF, I can completely relate to how hurtful it is to see him tm the OW. You are there, he admits he knows what is right but he keeps doing these things. Focus on the fact he has come home and he wants this to work. His addiction can be overcome.

A short story that may help. My mentor that I mentioned above had witnessed to an acquaintance of his that was a serious drug abuser and briefly went to prison. My friend never gave up on this person, talking to him about how he can be forgiven if he is willing to let God come into his life. This man could not understand how he could be forgiven and be free of drugs and the terrible life he was leading. About 2 1/2 months ago, he asked my friend to help him move to an apartment that would be sub leased to him. My friend said he would help him move there.

During the move, the man, still on drugs, said he wanted to change and have the Lord be master of his life. The man made the decision and became free of the addiction. HE STOPPED COLD TURKEY!! He never experienced withdrawals which is considered almost impossible. He replaced his addiction to drugs with an insatiable desire to learn about God and read the bible.

I received an update today that he has a steady job (for the first time in his life), an apartment that he may end up getting a 1 year lease on, friends that are not drug dealers and such, and a relationship with God.

Your H, SF, is no different that this man. He is no different than me or anyone else on this board. He simply needs to know that ALL can be forgiven and he can know he is clean and he can have his family.

With your permission, I would like to pray for your husband and you.