WAW...now the LBS Part 2

[HOPEFULinCALI]

jaw and jmw,

Thank you so much for your input. Here's the thing. I am trying to DB, but I have my mother, a friend of my mothers (a lawyer), my current therapist and a therapist who I saw three times all telling me move back in the house, ask him about the D, to protect myself by sep. all accounts, and file for legal sep. My only motivation is to protect myself. Sometimes I don't know what is right. There are so many sitch's that arise in which it is difficult to know how to apply DB, but that is why it is great to be able to bounce ideas off of you guys.

I can't tell you how grateful I am to have your advice. I see how these actions may be looked upon negatively by an observing spouse.

I wanted my husband to make changes...I wanted him to fight for me...but not in the way I needed him to.

that's just frustrates me. That could be or may have been my WAW now or in the past. Not a mind reader. I was extremely clueless as to what was going through her mind. Same now I suppose...

Don't be frustrated at all. You are doing exactly the right thing. My H meant well. He listened to all the advice of the therapist, did all the homework, read all the books but we had a very bad therapist. He NEVER took into account my feelings or the things I was asking to change about him and about us. It was in one ear and out the other. He would put words in my mouth and tell me how I was feeling and he wouldn't change a thing about him. Had my H invested as you are I am confident that I would have been back in a heartbeat, but he didn't know what he didn't know. I don't hold any grudges that he didn't try harder. I was just as responsible for making things work.