I talked to the W today. Error 1: I initiated the call. Error 2: I brought up the relationship. Error 3: I defended my actions.

I asked her why she didn't think we could make it. She said I have sent her mix messages. Like I told her when she first left that I was going to wait on her. I wouldn't do anything to make her not want to come back. Then when she moved out, she was coming back and forth getting her stuff. This was at the first of February. Well, she said she was coming by to get something, I had her stuff packed up and by the door waiting on her. She said she thought that was me moving on and not wanting her back. I told her that was me trying to help her get her things together. She didn't see it that way. I say one thing and then do another. Passive/Aggressive.

Then it came up about her getting her name off the house. I said I thought about that, but it would cost more money than i have to refinance it. She said so you already tried. I said I tried the first time you left. Passive/Agressive.

Then she asked if I was just scared to move on. I said i have no problem moving on. I have let you go. I am just not giving up on us. I am not stopping or interfering in any of your decisions. I just believe I am being lead to stand for our marriage. It may take a day, a month, or even a year. But that is my decision. I know my mistakes. She said we could never get on the same page. We would both give up too much for the other person. She said she could not become who she needed to be with us together. I couldn't defend that. I was thinking in my head though, you have always gotten to do what you wanted to do. I have never stood in her way.

Then as I was talking, I was telling her that I was told to let HIM handle it because that's what I prayed for. And as I was saying it, I realized I took it into my own hands again and told her, thank you for being honest.

Anti DB I know. But I feel I gained some useful information. I now know how she takes "my helping" her as pushing her farther away. So although I was anti DB, I feel like I made some progress.