Refuse To Lose, Part VI

[NoDirection]

RTL,
I am in a similatr situation as you. I too am an educator and feel that I have been doing a disservice to my students. For me my depression is even more fo an obstacle because my STBX is keeping my S away from me. Everytime I try and make plans with her to see him, she will not commit. She then will come by when I am not home and wonder where I am.

One of the first things you need to realize is that your STBX is irrational and you need to do things with you and your D in mind. You are now back in the forefront of all your decisions.

As for taking some time to be alone, it is part of the whole process. I took my time and spent it alone in my empty house. Everything I read and heard from everyone was to get out and simply be around people. Which I did, even if it was having dinner by myself, it would be good to be a part of civilization again.

Much of what you need to realize is that you need to start doing things again for you and your D. Your STBX is no longer in the equation, per se. You will never get away from her because of your child but you can determinie how much of an influence she will have in your life. Do not be ashamed about the feelings you have right now. I had them too and I can tell you it will get better. How much better ultimately is up to you.