Someone asked me that same question the other day, and I think about this alot. Why stay? Why fight so hard?
I have to pitch in here because yesterday I had a talk with my D14. The talk turned to what her Dad "did" (his A) and I asked her if she wondered why I wanted to work things out with him. She said when it first happened, she did. She didn't understand why I wanted to be with him because he hurt me so much. But then she met a boy, and he "cheated" on her (he kissed another girl). They are still 'dating.' Then she said she understood. "It's because you love him."
I could have cried.
Yes, I've stayed because I love him (and because of D14, too). I also told her the second reason was that I knew our M had problems, and some of those problems were mine.
But HFF, you are right that it's a matter of commitment, too. I said "I do." Period. Not "I do" only if the M is perfect, you make good money, never sleep with anyone else, etc!
